Sometimes, you get hit with a wave of grief out of nowhere. 

I’m not sure I have figured out how to deal with my grief in the aftermath of the pandemic. Having lost three loved ones this past year (which could have just as easily been five), I sometimes feel frozen in time, struck by the parallel universe I now find myself in. 

A Community Thread

But all is not lost. I have found love in that time, too. A community that keeps me grounded and my mental health intact. Sometimes, it is not even our closest friends that help us through the darker alleyways. But strangers and acquaintances whose support takes us by surprise and yet makes us feel seen in ways we never thought possible. 

It is the love of those passing shadows that can make all the difference and remind us that a community cares even when it seems so obvious that they don’t. It is easy to focus on the selfishness – on the loss and the angst that comes with it. 

Words of Wisdom

And there is an emptiness where they used to be. An emptiness that can never be filled – an emptiness I’ve somehow managed to live with. And while I used to feel guilty for smiling, laughing, or dancing, I know now that it’s important that I feel that joy.  

I will likely mourn them for the rest of my life. And that speaks more to the imprint they left than my capabilities as a human being.

I read an article recently on the potential effects of words on calming the mind, specifically the mantra, “let it be,” having a greater impact on decreasing anxiety, compared to “let it go.” Lennon for the win, as the author writes (sorry, Elsa).

The Ones That Matter

Certain things cannot be changed. Some things, to quote my LOTR nerd friends, are certain. And I don’t want to let them go. I don’t think I could. They are a part of me now. So instead, I let their passing be. 

And focus on the relationships in front of me. The ones that matter now. I may eventually lose them, too. But if I can be more of a whole person having just known them, I think that is a wonderful way to spend my life. To find and create love. 

I know they would be proud.