“Hey u little freak.”
[Insert phone number here]
I have entered the world of online dating. Up until last night, I hadn’t (figuratively) met too many weirdos or creepers as so many warned me about, although within the first 24 hours of my profile going live, I received multiple “Hey beautiful” messages. Come on guys, let’s be creative. And girls, don’t ever respond to objective one-liners like that.
It’s a lot more work than I anticipated and a bit overwhelming. Sometimes after skimming profile after profile, it’s hard not to be superficial. I’ve decided I have certain criteria, too. After two failed long-term relationships back-to-back, I’m not willing to put myself in certain situations again. I no longer believe that they will change.
Can You Hold a Decent Conversation?
But the matchmakers are right when they say you have to be proactive to find the best match. At this point I know what I want, and I’m not willing to bullshit anymore. That doesn’t mean I’m not open. In fact, I’ve been talking to this guy that I wouldn’t normally be interested in, but I was impressed by the fact that he could hold a decent conversation.
Yes, shocking, right? When I first started looking at profiles, I was initially turned off by the snippy ones that read:
Don’t message me if you just want to IM/text for months on end with no chance of meeting up.
I can’t believe I have to say this but only message me if you can hold a decent conversation.
I’m actually looking for short or long-term dating so please don’t message me if you’re not interested.
After three weeks, I completely understand these messages and respect them (well, some of them; others are still snippy). Oh and I really enjoy messages I receive that read: Hey, I checked out your profile. You seem really attractive and great. Wanna meet for drinks some time?
So what are some of my criteria?
- I’ve found I can’t overlook spelling and grammatical errors in profiles and messages. It doesn’t bode well for future presentation.
- They need to have a stable job and some ambition. I’ve made this mistake too many times already.
- They need to be close or accessible via public transportation. No point in trying to date a guy in Annapolis when I don’t have a car. Alexandria is a stretch but still doable.
- They need to be somewhat active. My last break-up has been great for my physical health. I need someone in my life who’s going to help me remain active, not a couch potato.
To sum up, like my profile reads, I’m looking for someone who’s driven, active, and doesn’t mind introverts. But honestly, I did just get out of a long-term relationship. This online realm of little freaks is merely a new place for exploration.
Let’s Be Honest
On a side note, one of the guys I was conversing with online happened to go to the same college I did, and our time there did overlap. But then like so many others, he dropped off the face of the Earth. That is one nice thing about onling dating – there’s no obligation to respond, and you can disappear just like that.
For me, it’s hard to be anyone but myself. In social situations, I can read the group and put on a certain persona of myself. But here, I can be anyone I want, and maybe that would be a fun experiment down the road? For now, I just want to be honest, and if they can’t handle the fact that I have Type 1 diabetes, then we’re both the better for it.
One of my biggest pet peeves? Wasted time. But this is a different kind of wasted time because I’m not being too serious about it, and I don’t have high expectations. I appreciate the fact that I’m not alone in this. And that’s enough to keep trying.
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