I’ll be honest. It’s been a rough week. I appreciate those of you who have stuck with this series – your feedback has been invaluable and such a positive light at the end of the tunnel.

And when it comes to managing an incurable chronic condition, mental health is so important to my physical well-being. I wouldn’t say I’ve been depressed this week, but I have been feeling depleted due to stress, anxiety and disappointment.

It can be hard to stay on top of my diabetes management when I’m feeling this way. And then there’s this underlying feeling that no matter what I do, things are not going to get better. I’m sure many people thought a cure was on the horizon when insulin came to market a little less than one hundred years ago. 

Many people have lived and died with this disease in that time. I have hope, but I am realistic, too. I want to thrive, even if I have to live my whole life with it. But it can be hard on days when I’m already feeling depleted, and I realize this disease is not going away. This is something I am going to have to manage for the rest of my life.

My 80-year-old self would probably tell me: don’t worry, Tracy, you got this. Just keep at it. You’ll find those happy moments that will make all the shitty ones worth it.

Or she might just say: Fuck diabetes. Go on. Live your life.

I’m not even sure if I will make it to 80. But if I do, I know spending time on my mental health is just as important, if not more so. That’s why I’m dedicating some time this week to “re-charging.” I need more positive light in my life.

This post is part of my 30 Days With Diabetes series.